TAKING OPPORTUNITIES

All the fun starts outside of your comfort zone.

In our everyday lives it's common to get caught up in a list of things we SHOULD do, which tends to be about a mile long. This can cause us to put off the things we really WANT to do like travel, skydive, perform live, write a book etc. because we tell ourselves we have many other things we have to get done, like a new project at work or school, walking the dog, cooking , the washing , but how about saying YES the next time an opportunity arises? The washing isn't going anywhere.

Here are some quotes I like about opportunity from quotegarden.com :

Jumping at several small opportunities may get us there more quickly than waiting for one big one to come along. ~Hugh Allen

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. ~Francis Bacon, Essays, 1625

Grasp your opportunities, no matter how poor your health; nothing is worse for your health than boredom. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

Love and light

xo 

HOW TO BREAK THE HABIT OF COMPARING YOURSELF WITH OTHERS

"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."

If you always want what others have you'll never have enough.

Why do we compare ourselves to others? Well, simply put, the ego wants to be number one. However, the problem with comparison is we tend to compare our weaknesses against another's strengths or we compare ourselves to someone who has more expertise or experience in a certain area. This can leave us in a never-ending spiral of self destruction and unhappiness. We feel inferior because we feel like we should be entitled to have or to be able to do, all the things we admire/envy in others.  Even if we do well in the comparison we make with another, it's a short-lived boost of ego which is easily knocked down. Comparison is a losing game, but luckily, we get to make the rules. Here's some tips on how you can break this habit that doesn't serve you any good.

Breaking the habit of comparison...

Learn from a rivals positive points:

So, after hearing or seeing someone do something well you think you lack in some thing? Transform the jealousy into admiration and use this as motivation toward self improvement. It's easier to criticise people than compliment them, don't fall into this habit. Instead of trying to find a flaw in what they are doing in order to make you feel better about your own shortcomings, why not change those thoughts into that of inspiration ( I.e "If they can do it, so can I. Time to start working towards what I want!") You could even ask someone to teach you the skill they are good at, if that's not an option there's plenty of resources available to learn yourself in the form of Youtube videos, blogs etc.

Awareness:
Be aware of when you're slipping into comparison-mode, often we're so used to doing it that we don't even realise that we've slipped into it again. Be on a lookout for these thoughts, and when they creep up, pause, acknowledge the thought and gently change focus, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Don't knock others down:
Sometimes we criticise others to try make ourselves feel better, this is just destructive and can form enemies where you could of formed a friend. It does you good to support others in their success, as a result they are more willing to help you and more interested in seeing what you can do. Remember, nobody has to lose for somebody to win. "It doesn't build you up to tear others down."

Be a better YOU:
Instead of comparing and competing with others you can always compare and compete with yourself.

 "Those who compete with others become bitter, those who compete with themselves become better."

You are the only person in the world you have the power to change and improve. So why not redirect the comparison? Ask yourself some questions: 

What are you doing now that you couldn't or didn't do a year ago?
What steps out of your comfort zone have you taken?
How further towards your goal/s are you now compared to 5 years ago?
How have you improved?
What negative behaviour/habits have you finally managed to stop engaging in?
Recently, what have you done that you thought you could never do?

Basically, how have you continued to become a better version of yourself?

This may work better instead of trying to stop comparing altogether, as that can be tricky to grasp hold of instantly due to the fact that the mind likes to figure out where we fit into the scheme of things.

Focus on your strengths:
Don't brag but feel good about them and work on using them to your advantage. Everyone has something they are good at, even if it's not the thing they most desire. Appreciate them, be grateful for them.

"Don't compare your chapter 1 with someone else's chapter 20."

Take note, that we only see the part of others they choose to share with us, they too have their own shortcomings and insecurities, there will be somebody they don't feel they measure up to when comparing themselves to another too. Don't be fooled into thinking their life is perfect, we are all fighting different battles. It's hard to judge a situation well that you are not a part of, so try to focus of the one thing you are in control of - yourself.


Love and light
xo. 

HOW TO LET GO OF RESENTMENT AND FORGIVE WHEN IT'S HARD.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and discover that the prisoner was you."

Most of us have experienced a time when we've been hurt by the words or actions of another. These encounters can leave us feeling bitter, angry, confused, and full of resentment. It's common for us to forget that it's only damaging to our own happiness and well-being to hold on to such feelings. The idea of forgiveness is often associated with the act of completely dismissing the situation, but that doesn't have to be the case. To forgive doesn't mean you disregard the way someone treated you, you can forgive someone without excusing the act. Forgiveness doesn't mean we have to continue putting up with their behaviour. You can forgive and stay OR forgive and no longer choose to associate with the person. Forgiveness isn’t solely to benefit the person in the wrong, but rather, to benefit you. 

 

According to Mayoclinic.org forgiveness can lead to: 

-Healthier relationships

-Fewer symptoms of  depression

-Less anxiety, stress and hostility

-Greater spiritual and psychological well-being 

-Lower blood pressure

Tips for reaching a state of forgiveness

• Awareness- The first step is to sort through your emotions and try to understand the situation. Frequently we are so stuck on focusing on our own point of view that we don't see the other person's perspective. Figure out why it happened and what it's taught you. What lessons have you learned through this? What strengths can you develop further from the situation? Over time you will eventually stop feeling the pain that it's caused you, so ask yourself is it really worth holding on to something that's going away anyway?

• Think back to a time you made a mistake, remind yourself how it made you feel when you was (or wasn't) forgiven? We're all human and we all make mistakes, there will come a time in your life that you too need forgiveness, is it fair to expect forgiveness from others if we can't even give forgiveness ourselves?

• Confrontation- Often, feelings of anger and resentment are built up because we don't express exactly how a situation made us feel to the other person/people involved. Even if you don't end up with the result you wanted, simply letting the person know your feelings can help cleanse your feelings of anger. When communicating, we can all have the tendency to become frustrated and defensive at times, I've found that when addressing another it’s better to state how something made you feel rather than speaking in an accusing tone, as that only makes the person being spoken too feel like they are being attacked. For example, instead of saying something like, ‘You’re so selfish and crap with communication’ try ‘When (the situation) happened it made me feel like you hadn’t considered my feelings and I think we could do with communicating better’ Even if you feel that whatever has happened is 100% someone else’s fault, conversing in this way helps minimise defensiveness when communicating.

• DO IT FOR YOU!- You don't have to forgive for someone else's benefit, do it to free yourself from the burden of stress, to bring peace into your own life. Know that you are responsible for your actions and they are responsible for theirs. When we let others disrupt our lives we give power to them, forgiveness is power to you. We all have the choice whether to be happy or unhappy, is it worth holding on to anger and resentment and being miserable or would you rather choose to be happy by letting go of what no longer serves you and allowing yourself to get on enjoying your life with peace of mind. Look to the future and release yourself from the prison that holding grudges puts you in.

Commit yourself to the process of change. After all, who gets to the end of their life and thinks; "I wish I stayed angry longer"?

Love and light

xo

ATTEMPT THE IMPOSSIBLE

Take time to think in terms of possibilities rather than in terms of limitation-  just because something is hard or hasn't been done yet, doesn't mean it can't be. Besides, it's kind of fun to do things that others say can't be done.


"The Wright brothers flew right through the smoke screen of impossibility." - Charles Kettering

5 WAYS TO FEEL HAPPIER NOW

“Happiness consists of living each day as if it was the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.” – Not sure who made this quote but I like it.

The first big secret of happy people is that they are aware they are responsible for their own happiness.

No matter what your starting point may be, no matter what may have happened in the past, no matter the opinion others may have on you, you’re the one who holds the key to your own happiness and if you’re not happy about something, you've got the power to change it.

However, “You can’t change what you refuse to confront.” And if you don’t take the action of confronting the things you want to improve in your life, that’s the same thing as deciding to stay in the same place.

Here’s some tips to get you started on your way to becoming a happier person; 

1. Treat yourself good:  It's one of the oldest sayings in the book; "Your first love should always be self love." But it makes total sense, the one person you always have to put up with is yourself, so you ought to be treating yourself good. Take time to relax and maybe even have a day where you 'unplug' and just have time to yourself for a bit. Let yourself lose track of time, it doesn't even have to be for a full day you could just allocate yourself an hour of the day for a relaxing treatment, to spend watching a film, writing, playing music; whatever it is you like to do. It's important to take time away from your daily routine to re-energise yourself. Those who learn to enjoy their own company are often the happiest of people. "When there is no enemy within, the enemy outside cannot hurt you."

2. Invest in others:   According to statistics, helping others leads to a boost in self-esteem, it makes you feel needed and you feel good about yourself -seeing others do well as a result of your help. Feeling needed and appreciated are good contributors to our confidence and happiness.  Seeing people who appear to be worse off than you can also help you view your life in a whole new light, helping you gain a new perspective on things. Uphold in-person connections, with social networking so popular actually socialising has become less important. Wherever you are be all there, put down your phone for a minute and take time to listen and have deeper meaningful convos. Help fill that feeling of social isolation we all sometimes get. "When you wake up in the morning and your life means something other than to you, you have a purpose." - Will Smith 

3. Engage in meaningful activities:  By engaging in meaningful activities you are making new discoveries/finding new ways to do things. You tend to learn more about yourself and if these activities have a social aspect you meet more people who may be similar to you in some way , shape or form which can build life long friendships. There's so much of the world out there, people who just stick to what they know tend to have the sense that 'something is missing' more often than those who are open to trying new things or involved in activity of some sort. Helping the community out through volunteering or allowing your mind to rest through meditation are examples of activities you can undertake.

"In studies at the University of Missouri, published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, activities that created more positive emotions also enhanced people's experience of meaning in their daily lives." - http://www.sharecare.com/health/emotional-health/what-mean-live-meaningful-life

4. Be more appreciative : Imagine if everything good you have today was taken away from you and then given back to you at a later date, you'd be so happy when you finally got it back. No matter where you are in life, things could be so much worse, if you're dwelling on what you don't like you're going to attract more things that you don't want to happen to you, whereas if you start being grateful and showing appreciation for what you already have, you'll start to recognise the good things that are occurring in your daily life better. People who focus mainly on the good seem to have a better attitude towards their life. "The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the best out of everything they have."

Tip to help: I have a 'gratitude journal' - At the end of each day I write  5 things I was grateful for that day, it can be anything as small as 'Having enough time to grab a bite to eat this morning.' or 'winning £1 on a scratch card' and if you're really struggling you can try just 3. It helps you to consciously recognise the good in your life.

5. It's not about the money:

"If you do things for money you make bad choices. If you do what you love [you're a whole lot happier] you'll learn to make money doing it." - Will Smith.

It is common for people to get caught up in the "I just want to be rich." thinking mode, but is it worth the material wealth if it results in you being mentally/emotionally poor? If you can live off your interest, and you can, because jobs are being created in all sorts of areas everyday, then there's no reason you shouldn't. It just takes, taking the progressive steps, doing the research and having hardcore dedication, to do it. It might take some saving and some time but if you've got something to work to you’re generally a lot more driven, especially if it’s something you actualy want to do. We live in a time of peak entrepreneurship,  people are starting to think outside the box, if they can do it, why can’t you? It’s time to stop making excuses and start making improvements.
After all, if you're not doing what you love, you are wasting your time. 

Best of luck with maintaining a positive mindset and taking the action needed to get where you want to be, remember; 

"The grass is always greener where you water it." 

Love and light

xo

Twitter: tyisha_rochelle 

Top Inspirational Quotes By Will Smith

"I love living. I think that's infectious, it's something you can't fake." - With a history of Grammy awards and a long list of mega blockbusters to his name, there's no denying Will Smith's incredible success.
As a great source of inspiration, he has always displayed a positive outlook on life and truly believes that we as individuals are responsible for whether we are successful or not; it's not something you find from outside yourself, but rather, it comes from within.

Here are 5 of his many quotes that I found to be motivating/inspiring: 

• "Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity." - This quote is telling us to not let others opinions of our vision prevent us from taking the steps to making it happen. Just because it's seen as 'unrealistic' doesn't mean it cannot be done, isn't everything 'impossible' until it's completed? It's doubtful that before electricity was discovered that anybody believed the idea of it was possible or 'realistic', don't let someone else define your reality for you, it's whatever you decide it to be. People that started from the bottom are climbing towards the top everyday, there's no reason why you can't be one of those people, unless you aren't taking the action to make it happen. 

• "While the other guy's sleeping, I'm working. While the other guys eating, I'm working."- I think the point Will Smith is trying to make here is that you get what you give in life. If you want to be a successful actor/musician/writer/sports person, whatever it may be , and you're not taking any action in the direction of any of those things; than you're not going anywhere fast. If you're not spending all your spare time bettering yourself, taking the steps to be closer to achieving your goals, than you're wasting your time. The dog that trots about finds the bone. We make our own luck. 

• On learning to swim: "I'm too big to have some woman hold my stomach and say: now kick your feet."- It's about attitude, dedication and responsibility. Don't always rely on others to help you, if you sit at home making no progress towards what you want and instead, are waiting for someone to come along and throw an opportunity your way , you'll be waiting a long time. Stop waiting for the perfect moment to come, take control and go make a moment perfect. Good things come to those who go out and grab them. "A year from now, you'll wish you started today."

• "As long as I continue to effect people positively there's no version of me not winning."- By helping others out, you are not decreasing the chance of your own success. There's room enough for everyone to be living out their dream.  As Will Smith has also said, "when you wake up in the morning and your life means something other than to you, you have a purpose." It's important to  uphold your social connections, and helping others has been proven to help boost your own self esteem and happiness. We all like to feel needed and appreciated after all, and it's always nice to help someone find their smile. Whoever you meet you have an affect on in some way or the other, whether it's a positive or negative impact is completely up to you. 

• "In my mind I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know it yet" - Believe in yourself and your talents, if you don't it's doubtful you'll get very far, in fact you are more likely to end up miserable, with a feeling of dissatisfaction, doing a job that you really don't enjoy doing. There's many quotes like "you are what you think you are" that back up this idea, if you truly believe in yourself you're giving off a vibe that makes others interested in what you do , then they want to see or hear your work. You can always tell the difference between someone who believes in themselves and someone who doesn't. If you truly want something you should be giving it 100%, if you're going to do something half-heartedly what's the point in doing it at all? 

"The person who thinks he can and the person who thinks he can't are both right." 

Challenge yourself to be better. 

Love and light 

xo. 

5 GOOD REASONS YOU SHOULD STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE NOW

“Thinking too long about doing something is often the reason it never gets done. Mistakes teach you important lessons. Every time you make one, you’re one step closer to your goal. The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.”

Here’s how stepping out of your comfort zone will benefit you:

1) Who doesn't love a challenge? At times, we all get bored with our predictable, repetitive, daily routines and as a desperate attempt to get out of our own boredom phantom zones, some of us try many unfavourable extremes. That might include starting an argument with a partner or a family member, simply for something to do, to feel something. Some people even become bitter about other people’s success and try put down their dreams because they are unhappy with where they are at in their own life.
When we challenge ourselves we are competing with ourselves not others, becoming better not bitter. Next time an opportunity comes along that has beneficial potential why don’t you ignore those pessimistic thoughts that may be along the lines of, ‘it would be good, but I’m scared, what if it goes wrong?, it hasn't been done before, i'm risking too much', and adopt an optimistic attitude, replace the why should I? With why the hell shouldn't I? Say “yes.” It’s easy to get stuck in routine, but it’s challenging, fun, and a big step in personal development to say “yes” and step up to a challenge...

2)You’ll get a confidence boost. Once you start doing things you felt would be hard or impossible to achieve, you gain a new sense of confidence. And when it comes to undergoing any similar tasks in the future, you can remember how good it felt overcoming fear and completing something and use this as your motivation to do well again. 

3) You'll learn something new about yourself. 'Just because you're taught to do something one way doesn't mean it’s right for you.' Keep in mind that just because something works for others, it doesn't mean it's going to work for you. I was helping my sister with her division homework the other day and it got me thinking; there are many ways to do one thing and obtain the same result and what makes sense to one person might not make sense to others. So why stick with doing something just because it's familiar? Especially when there's an alternative out there that's easier for you, if you don't try different things you may never find what works best for you.

4)It could lead to more opportunities. If you’re trying new things you are becoming exposed to new opportunities, you are testing out a different environment, you’re meeting more of the right people. Stepping outside of your comfort zone means you are doing things that many others are not willing to do, this can be of great advantage to you. For example in an area such as business, if your competitors are not willing to speak out in public or YouTube Vlog out of fear, and you are, you will gain a larger audience which may lead to increased business opportunities. 

5) You're more likely to reach your goals quicker. There’s the less frightening option of doing things tiny steps at a time, and it is good to take at least some action as opposed to no action, but how much further would you be if you took one leap a day instead of a baby step? One leap out of your comfort zone, in the right direction. People tend to want to see quick results but aren’t often willing to put in the necessary amount of effort to do so. The leap you take doesn’t even necessarily need to be scary, for instance if you wanted to become a writer and you’re posting your work online but not getting much readership, why not take the step of sharing your work on social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook and even YouTube. It may seem scary at first but it will be rewarding in the long run. It can only be a good thing; if it is complimented it will encourage you , if it is critiqued you'll get thicker skin. 

"Be willing to step outside your comfort zone once in a while; take the risks in life that seem worth taking. The ride might not be as predictable if you'd just planted your feet and stayed put, but it will be a heck of a lot more interesting." 
-Edward Whitacre, Jr.

You're either creating the life of your dreams or you're making excuses... why don't you challenge yourself to be better today? 

Love and light 

xo.